This one is not only to you my friend but to all the great moments we shared together and the everlasting memories we created. Unfortunately you left me too early and without a chance to say goodbye. And even though it truly upsets me at times I cannot be mad at you as I only have the fondest thoughts about you.
Never will I forget our first encounter at work. Without actually knowing each other, we only needed to exchange a few looks to know what the other person was thinking without saying anything out loud. There was this deep understanding that you only find very rarely with other people. Quickly colleagues turned into friends and we became much closer over the years. Together we went through good times and bad times, we helped each other through break ups, frustration at work and also shared the happy moments with each other. Never will I forget how you backed me up when someone else was trying to put me down, never will I forget our secret chats at work or our daily lunch dates out at the little Italian restaurant around the corner, never will I forget all the laughters we shared over the millions of coffees we must have had together and never will I forget our crazy plans we made for life. What happened to all those plans? I don’t know. Will I ever find out? Probably not…
To me you were a truly remarkable person with so many hidden talents. You were a smart girl and it almost felt like nothing can bring you down. Unfortunately your inner struggle was invisible to most of us. I know that you kept many things away from your loved ones in order to protect everyone around you. Never did you want to hurt anyone or make someone feel uncomfortable. You always chose someone else’s wellbeing before your own. You were always there for me when I needed you as a friend but never wanted to be a burden for anyone else. Oh how I wish you I could have been there for you like you were there for me in all those years.
Your selfless support helped me in so many ways and I am truly thankful for every little thing you did for me. I always enjoyed having you around and even after long periods without seeing each other we never had any kind of awkwardness in between us. Despite the distance we somehow always managed to keep a very strong and unbreakable bond throughout all those years. With you I could talk about simply everything without being judged. I liked your honesty and directness that to anyone else might have been offensive but to me was refreshingly different. Unlike many others you never hesitated to tell me your honest opinion without sugarcoating the truth. I truly miss that and it will be very hard for me to find that special bond we shared with anyone else.
Unlike many other female friendships there was never a feeling of jealousy or any gossiping behind each others backs. We simply knew better and respected each other too much. The reason I liked you is because you were not like all the other girls. You liked cars instead of horses, sports instead of parties, outdoors instead of sitting in front of the TV all day long and simply preferred the natural and easy going way instead of hiding behind a fake make up facade. With you I never had a pointless conversations over anything and enjoyed chatting to for hours.
And now I am sitting here all by myself left with nothing but your sweet memories and all those letters you sent me in the past…I keep reading them over and over again trying to inhale every little word you wrote. Why do I realize only now how much you really missed me? Reading those letters makes me happy and sad at the same time. Somehow I feel a little closer to you but when I wanna pick up the phone to call you it makes me wanna cry. There is nothing I can do to bring you back to this world but so many things that bring your memories back into life. To me you were a true friend and I will miss you every day in my life.
May God bless you and you will find your inner Peace in Heaven…